We have all noticed that our communities are increasingly divided along racial, political,
religious, and class lines. Social media, narrowed media feeds and polarization reinforces our
preexisting beliefs, and it has become harder for people to communicate across difference. Civil
discourse enhances understanding, engaging our differences with consideration and respect. In
the words of James Baldwin, “We can disagree and still love each other, unless your
disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist.”

On October 14, the Signature Events Sub-Committee presented a virtual Social Hour for Social
Issues that featured a panel discussion on Civil Discourse. The “hour” was a two-hour Zoom
event which began with the screening of the documentary “Bring It to the Table” by Julie
Winokur, an Emmy-nominated director. The film addressed the importance of civil discourse
while showing people from varied backgrounds sharing their political opinions. Eighty-nine
WIF members attended, many enjoying their mailed “movie ticket” and microwave popcorn
while they watched! After the movie, participants entered the social “hour,” giving their
impressions of the film and discussing its relevance and timeliness to our current social and
political climate.

After being welcomed by Executive Director Patricia Massey Hoke, Member Education Chair
Vida Harvey, and Community Partner Moore & Van Allen Associate Brianna McRae, WIF
member and moderator, Octavia Seawell (OZS Consulting), began the panel discussion asking
each panelist to share their background and some insights on how they deal with difficult
conversations in their professional and personal lives.

Kama Pierce (Levine Museum of the New South) pointed out that we often mistake civil
discourse with debate; the goal should be to listen and understand another point of view, not to
win an argument. Becca Kearl (Living Room Conversations) agreed, adding that one of the
greatest deterrents to civil discourse is our tendency to weaponize facts and devalue other
points of view. Gil MacGregor (BCSEF) shared insights on how he convenes multiple groups
with conflicting priorities by creating safe spaces for authentic conversation, finding the
commonality in our personal stories. Fear and rhetoric divides us, he said. Kinneil Coltman
(Atrium Health) added that it is important to come to the conversation with an open heart and a
willingness to listen and connect. Tanya Blackmon (Novant Health) encouraged us not to avoid
hard topics and not to be afraid of challenging others’ opinions; respect develops from mutual
exploration of conflicting viewpoints.

While the panelists were speaking, WIF members posed questions and comments in the chat,
noting the importance of building trust through continued dialogues on difficult issues. The
best place to start practicing civil discourse is at home with friends and family. In larger groups,
it is critical to convene with intention and to have a process in place that ensures a safe space for open dialogue. Both the panel discussion and the chat were rich and authentic and surely left
our members with something to consider as they face difficult dialogues of their own.

The panelists also shared free resources about getting started in dialogue on current topics
like Talking About Race, the Presidential Elections, and Life During COVID.